Linda Jensen — A Date Recalled

Linda's golfing outfit.

In detective stories they say that there is nothing like a return visit to the ‘scene of the crime’ to help participants and eye-witnesses recall a particular event. So it was that on a recent return visit to the Orlando, Florida area I came to think about, and remember, my three-day golf date there many years ago.

I could say it all started sometime in 1998 when I met my friend Martin at the Queen Mary Lounge in Los Angeles. We were introduced by our mutual friend, Alice Novick, who knew we were both visitors to LA and had a lot of mutual interests including travel, golf and dating.

However for me it really started back in 1995 when I visited what was then the biggest transgender conference going, the Texas T Party in San Antonio. (Wouldn’t the current Tea Party be shocked to know we had that name before them?) At the conference Phyllis Frye organized a golf game for interested participants. I was one of ten of the some 700 T party attendees who signed up. I would like to say I played really well from the forward ‘ladies’ tees, but I didn’t. However, I loved the feeling of walking the golf course wearing a golf skirt and blouse, of feeling my breasts tightly held in a newly acquired sports bra and of using a visor not only to shield the sun from my eyes but also to hold my wig in place. Needless to say it was also a thrill to use the golf club’s ladies room without eyebrows raised and for the beverage cart girl to refer to Phyllis and me as ‘you gals.’ From that day forward I eagerly awaited the next time Linda could get out golfing.

Years passed but meeting Martin gave me the next opportunity. During the course of our first evening together we discussed our plans for the coming year. Martin was due to be at a conference in Daytona Beach late the next February — after Bike Week! I had been thinking of going to central Florida around the same time.

That first evening, or maybe it was the next morning, Martin and I decided to meet in Orlando for a few days of golf before his Daytona Beach conference. In the ensuing weeks we exchanged emails. Martin was good to his word as he arranged for our hotel reservations and looked into the golf courses we would play. He said we would have at least one dinner date and one visit to Orlando’s famous gay resort, Parliament House. I was left to only buy myself a nice set of women’s golf clubs and a few very feminine and flattering golf outfits, and of course get myself to Orlando. In scenes worthy of What Not to Wear I eschewed baggy shorts and loud tops in favor of patterned golf skorts (a combination of skirt and short) and plain dark blouses to give a look designed to accentuate my shapely legs, ‘enlarge’ my butt and minimize my top. Yes, girls I know that is the opposite of what GG’s are usually trying to do. That I was searching for these outfits during the dead of Canadian winter meant that there were some pretty good bargains to be had in the golf stores.

Then before I knew it I was checking in to a Holiday Inn Express near the Orlando airport. Martin had arranged everything and all I had to do was show my Linda ID. We had separate rooms on the same floor. By the time Martin arrived and called I’d had time to rest, shower and re-do my make-up. We dined at a nearby restaurant. Given that my last meal had been breakfast in Valdosta, GA I really took advantage of their unlimited bread and salad offering. Martin was gung ho to take me to Parliament House that evening but I begged off. A quiet cuddle in the hotel suited me just fine.

The next day Martin worked in the morning while I ‘caught some rays’ by the pool. In the afternoon we headed for a golf course called Boggy Creek for a nine-hole warm up game. There I learned two new things about Martin. He talked a better golf game than he played but that was okay; I’m not that good, either. He also wasn’t going to spend a fortune on green fees for us to play. That was also okay because he was very generous in making sure we had nice dinners and in seeing that I could wear his preferred garter belt and stockings rather than my standard control top pantyhose. Dinner that night was at a Bennigan’s where I became a lifetime fan of pulled beef in Guinness beer sauce. We then made the seemingly endless drive up Orange Blossom Trail to the Parliament House only to find that it was going to be a very quiet night with no drag show, not even any other t-girls which must have really disappointed Martin as he gets so excited watching the girls.

The next day Martin had to leave for Daytona but not before we played our 18-hole game and a course called Meadowlands. Again Martin had chosen it for the price, not the golfing experience. However it was nice to be out again feeling the wind up my golf skort as we drove along, feeling the weight of my breasts as I swung the golf club and to be welcomed as a couple by the husband and wife we joined.

Three other things are memorable from that game.

• I won a box of golf balls getting my ball on the green in one shot on one of the par 3’s. Yes, I hit from the ladies’ tee.
• I had to sneak away from my playing partners and in to the woods when nature called very loudly. I wonder what our friends thought.
• In his hurry to get to Daytona Martin took off with my new sand iron. It was almost a year before we could get together again – this time in Orange County, California – so he could return the club.

All these memories flooded back as I made my return visit to the scene of our great golf affair. I decided to see if I could stay at the Holiday Inn again. It had become a Hampton Inn, Could I play at Boggy Creek? Closed! Meadowlands? Also closed! Dine at Bennigan’s? Gone! Martin? I’m still in touch with him but knee surgery means he no longer plays golf. Thankfully the Parliament House Resort is still there but I heard rumors that it had recently gone under bankruptcy protection.

Had I provided that much bad luck or bad karma to these locations? I don’t think so but please don’t start spreading the word that I could be a jinx for businesses that welcome me. I still have a lot of golfing, dining and shopping to do!

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Category: Transgender Fun & Entertainment