From my ears, to your hips.

Or something like that.

It was just over three years ago that I got my ears pierced. Both of them. I did it at Be-All in Chicago, after meeting a friend who had both hers done.

Since that time, I’ve had remarkably little reaction. In boy-world, I’m a pretty straight-laced, clean cut, conservative-appearing fellow, so this lack of response surprised me.

But in the last three weeks… Suddenly, everyone seems to be noticing/reacting. Out of the blue, a coworker said the earrings made me more like Courtney Cox than Dr. Cox. (I can be a bit gruff at work.)

Another acquaintance was shocked to learn I’m married. To a woman. I think she saw the earrings and assumed I was gay. (She did go on and on once about her gay uncle and how supportive of him she is.)

At a cocktail party last weekend, a woman asked if I had an “alter ego”. (To be fair, the host does, and she was aware of that.)

So, I think it’s time I trot out some responses and have them ready, because any day now, someone’s going to ask me “Why”. As in: “Why do you have both ears pierced?” And that person may not be someone I want to come out to.

So, when they ask, I’ll answer:

1. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

2. I’m probably dying young, so I had my mid-life crisis at age 33.

3. The piercing store had a special: Buy two, get one piercing free, and the other ear was the only place left.

4. The earrings help pick up the secret CIA transmissions. I can hear the voices in my head better.

5. Nunya. Nunya? Nunya damn business.

**************

And what about the hips? MSN Shopping has an “article”, (read: salespitch), on fashions for the larger woman. The gist is that designers are recognizing that not everyone is a size 2, and are acting appropriately, by making sexy clothes in bigger styles. (Read more here.) But, I looked at the fashions they recommended, and they’re still not all that great.

Category: Transgender Fun & Entertainment, Transgender Opinion